We parents usually have plenty of funny stories about the things kids say. Many of my favorites come from my very imaginative second child, Lucía (age 5), sometimes in concert with my oldest, Grace (age 7).
Once when I was reading a bedtime story, two-year-old Lucía, exclaimed, “I want to whee-haa!” Before I could ask what she meant, she climbed onto my lap and started sliding down saying, “Whee! ha ha ha!”
Once when we were getting into our minivan, Grace was struggling with her seat beat. Frustrated, she cried out, “Come on seat belt, LET MY PEOPLE GO!”
Lucía’s piety can be quite interesting too. One time Danielle was getting her and Grace ready in the bathroom. Suddenly, Lucía climbed on top of a stool, stretched out her arms, and proclaimed, “I’m Jesus! Let me die on the cross!”
Of course, Lucía can be serious about her prayers. Once during family prayer when we were collecting petitions she prayed, “That Michael does not get wings, because wings are very dangerous for a baby.
Even before she could read, Lucía appreciated having a prayer book in front of her while she prayed. We have her lead us in “Now I lay me,” so one night she opened a tiny prayer book and started, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray thee Lord my… Wait, that’s not the right page!”—she started flipping through the book randomly, then settled on a page—”…Now I know my ABC’s, next time won’t you sing with me.”
Bedtime prayers are important because, after all, Lucía is very serious about sleep. One day when Danielle went to get her up after nap, three-year-old Lucía cried out, “Go away!”
The next day, which was Easter, Danielle decided to just sneak up on Lucía and snatch her out of bed. After picking her up, Lucía screamed the whole way downstairs: “Nooo, Mommy! No, Mommy! Nooo!”
After all, Lucía and Danielle have a special relationship. When Lucía first started using the potty, Danielle would ask her, “OK Lucía, sit on the potty. Do you need some privacy?” Lucía, for her part, would respond, “I need a privacy, Mommy! GET OUT!”—as she slammed the door on her.
Lucía and Grace, like Danielle and I, are always planning for the future. Grace used to ask us if, when she gets old enough to shave her legs, we could get her a Dora the Explorer razor. (Do you think they actually sell these?)
As for Lucía, one day I turned the TV on to look at the news, and unluckily it happened to be showing footage of a bomb going off in Aleppo. This was the first time Lucía had either seen a bomb or heard the word bomb. She was intrigued by this and asked, “Daddy, when I get older, will I get a big girl bomb?”
The imagination still continues today. In fact, Lucía loves to crawl around on all fours and pretend to be a cat. This morning she was standing with Grace and said, “I’m going to be a kitty, and you’re going to be… the tornado warner.”
Grace promptly added, “Tornado warning! Tornado warning! Tornado warning!”